They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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