last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
