I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
