i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
