i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
