i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
