I never want to see another naked old woman again.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
