plz talk dirty to me
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
