is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize