he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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