Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
