then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
