chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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