Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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