im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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