i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
