their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
