But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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