Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
