pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
