I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We had to coat check the pizza.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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