We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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