i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
