That reminds me...we need to get swords
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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