Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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