i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
