is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
