I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
