This girl is more easily done than said...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
