Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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