Pappa wants mamma naked
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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