I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
