I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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