My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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