i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize