we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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