problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
