It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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