real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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