He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
