Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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