So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
