can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
only you would photoshop your dick
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
