His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
