do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Let's get the cat blown out
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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