Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
