My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
