she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize