i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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