Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I would fuck him just for his dog
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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