I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
