Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
