Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
