woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I touched a dick in church today
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