You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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