I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
