Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Fuck appropriateness.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
