we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
